Meltdown.

So. I finally had one of those pregnancy meltdown's that you hear about. Oh I've had bouts where I cry - sob really...but that was usually during an episode of Glee or during a Lifetime movie.  No, last night I cried.  A lot.  And the short story of it is we are going to stay in the 2-bedroom condo for awhile.  We tried to look at refinancing the condo so we can rent it out - and then maybe buy a bigger home...but it's just not going to work.  We were kind of given false hope that it was "that easy" to do just that - but were brought down to earth by a nice lady from Fifth Third. 

So we'll stay here...and baby Madison will have a beautiful mini-crib (most likely) that will be in our room.  Today I made the comment to my boss/friend that "this is not where I thought I would be"....you know, I thought at 41 years old I would have the big house, the beautiful pink nursery with lots of frilly pink stuff...but, as Kate said, "you don't - so move on!". :)  I've had lots of inspiring comments from friends on Facebook as well...things that really hit home.  And I think my mom said it best this afternoon..."just remember how blessed you are - you are carrying this little baby girl".  Well said, mom.  Well said.

We knew 6 months ago that we weren't financially ready to have a baby...and maybe not mentally :)...but considering our age - we decided to go for it.  Who knew how long it would take?!   If it happened at all.  So we did.  And you're right, mom...we are *very* blessed.  I know I have friends that have tried and tried - and it still hasn't happened for them....and I ache for them.  It has to be heartbreaking - and I can't imagine how they feel.  It took us 6 months.  And to be honest, I think that's a record even for someone younger and healthier than us!   For that we are very grateful.

So we will stay in our condo - and someday Madison will have her own room with her name on her wall. :)  But for now...we will stay here and count our blessings every day.